Xxx Return Of Xander Cage (2017) [upd] — Verified

★★½ (Three stars if you are drunk; Zero stars if you are a physicist).

xXx: Return of Xander Cage didn’t just come back—it exploded back, complete with a self-aware wink, a roster of global misfits, and a plot that defied the laws of physics. The film opens with a classic Diesel trope: Xander Cage is dead. We learn he faked his death to live in exile. But when a doomsday device known as "Pandora’s Box" (a satellite control system that can drop space junk anywhere on Earth) is stolen, NSA Agent Jane Marke (Toni Collette) has no choice but to recruit the only man crazy enough to stop it. xxx return of xander cage (2017)

It is a bad movie. But it is also an incredibly fun one. If you turn your brain off, grab popcorn, and accept that a man can surf a motorcycle, xXx: Return of Xander Cage is the best 107-minute music video for "Gangnam Style" (which plays during the credits) you will ever see. ★★½ (Three stars if you are drunk; Zero

By: Action Cinema Archives Published: Retrospective, April 2026 We learn he faked his death to live in exile