Tarzan X 1995 High Quality -

(1 point for the unintentional comedy, 0.5 for the chimp’s professionalism)

The film opens with a young woman, Karen (Angela D’Angelo), searching for her missing anthropologist father in the African jungle. She stumbles upon a wild man known as Tarzan (Rocco Siffredi, legendary adult film star, here billed as "Rocco"), who lives in a treetop paradise with his chimpanzee companion, Cheeta (a real chimp, looking perpetually unimpressed). Tarzan has amnesia – a convenient plot device that allows for endless exposition dumps. He doesn’t know if he’s a lord or a lost city guardian. tarzan x 1995

Enter the villains: a group of sleazy treasure hunters led by a man named Mr. X (no relation to the title, or maybe all the relation?), who are searching for a legendary golden idol. Their plan involves capturing Tarzan’s female companion, a scantily clad native woman named Sharmaine (Cindy Leadbetter). What follows is a series of captures, escapes, jungle chases, and – most importantly – frequent, extended softcore interludes. (1 point for the unintentional comedy, 0

However, as a spectacle of failure ? It’s a masterpiece. Tarzan X is the cinematic equivalent of finding a moldy, half-eaten sandwich in a rented VHS case – it’s gross, confusing, and you can’t look away. Rocco Siffredi’s Tarzan may not conquer the jungle or your heart, but he will forever swing awkwardly through the low-rent canopy of bad movie history. He doesn’t know if he’s a lord or a lost city guardian